It’s impossible to write without being influenced in some way by your life experiences, whether intentionally or not. But, it’s up to you, the writer, to mine value from these experiences rather than to be blindly led by them. A writer who has grown up on a farm will no doubt be able to write authoritatively about growing up on a farm; likewise, the city dweller will have some mastery of the urban environment. This is not to suggest that every work needs to be autobiographical, but rather that writers must write from the perspective of who they are and the world they have experienced.
When you read an author’s biography on the book jacket (or today, in Wikipedia), it’s no coincidence that their work is an offshoot of their life. For example, how many writers of legal thrillers are lawyers, or come from a family of lawyers? John Grisham and David Baldacci come to mind. How many crime novel writers have a background in police work or crime reporting? Famous defense attorney, Marcia Clark, recently released a novel. One of the biggest reasons to write what you know is that it reduces the amount of research you need to do to gain understanding of a subject matter.
There’s another reason why using your life experience is beneficial. It increases your credibility with publishers and agents. Imagine a ballet dancer from New Zealand writing a novel about the life of a steel worker in Gary, Indiana. How would you pitch that one to an acquisitions editor? Now, imagine you, yourself writing a book proposal for an adventure romance set in sub-Saharan Africa, based on your ten years of experience as a Peace Corps volunteer in that part of the world. Even if you are self-publishing and will not need to convince an editor… you still need to convince the reader of your credibility.
This is by no means meant to say that you are limited in your selection of subjects or plots. Tom Wolfe has never been a bond trader, but he captured the essence of the profession and the professional mindset in his masterpiece The Bonfire of the Vanities. Wolfe spent several weeks on the trading floor of Saloman Brothers to learn about a world he didn’t live in. Yet, ultimately, the book is very much about a world he did live in: New York City of the 1990’s, where Wall Street was king.
A third reason to use your own life experiences is because it allows you to tap into character development. In your own life, you’ve met unique characters, you’ve had adventures, you’ve experienced love, you’ve experienced pain. It’s your life experience that influences not only what you write about, but how you write about it. Tapping into your own emotional experiences makes it easier to transfer that to your characters, developing a rich tapestry of emotions that help you connect with readers.
Perhaps not every aspect of your life has worked out the way you wished (whose has?). Yet, that’s part of life’s lesson, and life experience can lead to great writing. Tap into this great resource and your book will certainly be better.
I thought that when I submitted my book Five Simple Rules there was too much personal story woven in, but I now feel that I have used my experiences to explain to the reader that they need to consider this type of avatar before they even accept the ring. It is far too easy to get into a marriage than it is to get out after you encounter a person represented by one of these avatars. On the other hand, maybe you are hitting roadblocks and can not figure out why you don't get a call for a second date. Are you finding a likeness to an avatar? Now you can figure out how to remove this block and find someone worthy of you.